I have had alot of random thoughts over the last few weeks. One thing is God knew what He had to do when He sent Jesus to die on the cross to save us. He knew there would be people like me that even though I know I have a clock ticking down the time I have left, which is alot less than I had hoped, I still revert to my self. He knew that deep in our hearts we are all sinners and that it would require an offering on our part to bring us back to Him. This sacrifice would have to be His own son, in order to redeem the sin of great magnitudes that each one of us continually commit. It hurts me that knowing my fate I still cannot measure up...but thank God that I don't have to in order to be saved.
I also feel like I am just treading water sometimes, I wish there was more I could do but I don't know what to do. I have made a more purposeful attempt to get more involved in others lives. I want to be there for others and help and pray for them. I am not sure why I feel this way, it just feels like what the Lord wants me to do right now. I know I didnt do this in the past because it was easy not to. I have also become more vocal in my beliefs, I want others to know that I am a Jesus follower and I dont want to be an idle Christian any more. Being diagnosed has made me more extroverted instead of introverted for some reason, and now I worry less about myself and more about others, for this I am grateful that I have become this. I just wish I could quit feeling like I am waiting so often. It just makes me feel like I am wasting time.
I know I have said it in the past, but I want each one of you to know that I appreciate your prayers, they are not "wasted" as I can tell that I am being prayed for. I pray for many of you too, for your lives and for you to make a difference in others as you have made a difference in my life. There are so many cool things that have happened lately, my brother in law was in a Physical therapist office the other day and I think he overheard them talking about a guy's blog, and long story short it was my blog. So cool (I think :)) I got mail the other day and it was a bulletin from a church in SC that is in a little town I had never heard of, and on the back page was a prayer list with my name on it. Today, I was speaking to the head of the Arkansas School bus spec committee and he said I was looking like I was doing good, not sure how (Unless I told him and forgot) he knew but he told me he had been keeping up with me. I have had so many people stop me and ask if I was Greg Elmore and when I said yes they said they were praying for me and my family. God knows just the right time to send someone like that. Amazing!
Well, hopefully all of these random thoughts make some sense. Kara told me that I need to write something about what is going on with me so people can follow how my life is going at the time. Maybe it will help someone that has felt this way or feeling this way. Please continue to pray for me, especially good results for my MRI and check up on June 13.