When most people think about prayer, it is thinking about the prayer we do when we eat. No one considers prayer at other times (OK it might just be me J ) I pray a lot more than I used to, as you well know my life had a dramatic change last year. When I pray for others, I don’t pray that they be healed or that the Dr. will do well with their surgery, I pray that God’s will be done in their life. I pray this in my life as well. I don’t pray for my own healing. I have asked God to heal me in the past, especially in the beginning, but it has changed for me. Foremost, I want God to be the leader in my life. I do not want to be the leader. I do however, like to try and take control a lot. This just ends in things being worse off. At this point I want the Lord to do with my life as He wishes. The only end I would like to see is that He will be glorified.
Just to share what happened in a time of prayer to me the other day. Monday, I was sitting at my desk at work. I had so much on my heart. My wife having struggles with things going on in her life, my mother struggling to go on living as her body and mind are failing her, my father having heart problems and having stints put in yesterday and this is on top of the fact I have been having 4-5 panic attacks a day from stress and just realizing my own mortality. It came to a point where it was quiet, so I decided I would read the bible for a few minutes (Which sadly is a reality for me) As I read, I felt the need to pray because I have a person’s name taped above my desk that has brain cancer and have been praying for. I closed my eyes and started to pray for her, along with the other items that have weighed on my heard. I started to cry, when I felt someone place their hand on my back to comfort me. I opened my eyes to look and no one was there. Then I realized exactly who it was. It was a moment that I will never forget. Yes, some of you may be thinking I have brain damage, but it was as physically real as anything I have ever felt. The Lord knew I needed that; I needed to know He was right beside me and knew what I have been going through. It makes me extremely humble and grateful that the Lord chose this time to be physically present for a brief moment when I really needed Him.